Candlelight Christmas Eve

Noah was insistent he would attend the "big" church service on Christmas Eve at City Church instead of going in the children's worship.  He held strong even after we dropped Beckett off and reminded him you can't talk in "big" church.  Once the music began he was (almost) speechless during "O Holy Night" and with good reason the band is pretty awesome, too.  Noah soaked it all in, sang along to a few songs and then began to doze off during Pastor Dean's sermon (it was perfect but Noah needed a nap).  :)  He woke up just in time for a candlelight 'Silent Night'.  It was a special service and I'm proud of Noah for wanting to celebrate Jesus' birth in "big" church, it seems somewhat symbolic of how he is growing up and (I pray) beginning to understand the true meaning of Christmas.

But don't worry-Santa already came to our house tonight.  Tomorrow will be a very special day for our family especially Noah as he gets to celebrate his first Christmas ever.

Matthew 1:23 "See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Immanuel, which is translated, "God with us."

Christmas Program

The church preschool both boys attend put on a wonderful Christmas program yesterday.  Noah was very excited to participate and sang every song.  Even with the lights and other distractions he was so focused!  I thought the costumes were kind of silly...but might provide some excellent laughs when they are older.  What a special way to celebrate the birth of Jesus-hearing my sons sing carols especially 'Joy To The World'.

First Christmas present-from his teacher: chocolate and an ornament

Proof I don't dress them alike or like girls  :)

^Love that another mom insisted on taking our picture; it sums up the morning perfectly

Early Intervention Evaluations

Last week Beckett and Noah were evaluated locally for early intervention services through Leon County.  I have been concerned about Beckett's speech-that it needs work, help, therapy of some sort (not delayed but the actual enunciated of specific words) and obviously wanted to start the process for Noah-visual impairments and to see what the public school system might suggest for next year.  Surprisingly, after the tests, Beckett does not require speech at this point.  Once he turns four in January he will be reevaluated for pre-K called VPK (voluntary pre-Kindergarten in Florida).  More surprising was that the tests 1) did not assess Noah's vision 2) showed that he needed additional help in development and language.

So today Noah and I went back and he went thru another an hour and a half of thorough testing/evaluations.  Again, they did not assess his vision even after I asked and pointed out he is legally blind.  I felt like I failed him in that moment.  The whole point (to me) was to obtain visual services in VPK.  I was not able to be in the room during the testing but the door was left open and I could hear and see most of what went on.  Noah stayed on task and seemed very secure without my assistance.  I'm anxious for us to find out the results and what the county recommends as far as services go.

The evaluators and therapists were very impressed with Noah overall.  They commented on his intellect and that his vision is not holding him back, in fact one said had he not spend 3 years in an orphanage he probably would have a genius level IQ.  But they told me his fine motor skills and language (not speech) could possibly be delayed.  The plan is to tally and examine both days' test results and for us to come back (again) after the holidays.  I'll be starting off the New Year contacting the Florida Blind Academy and a local VI specialist to make sure Noah gets ALL the services he needs-vision included.

Sunglasses Arrived!

First Update on Sadie & Getting Started Again

We submitted 10 questions to Sadie's orphanage via Helen and within 24 hours we received 5 new pictures and 2 short videos.  The answers came quicker than even our adoption agency could handle in-country (and also $60 for the communication).

To summarize: Sadie weighs 33 lbs and is 37 1/2 inches tall.  She sleeps in a crib 10 hours at night.  She has not been hospitalized but did have a cold this fall.  She likes to play outside and with other children.  She likes apples, bananas and most foods except not sour ones.  She can pick up small things up with her fingers, understand her caregivers and they request that we send her clothes and shoes.

Here is the package that was mailed to Sadie earlier this week 

And a few new pictures of our big girl (really she is bigger than Noah already) :) We've requested that the orphanage not shave her head anymore (they do so to prevent lice being spread).  It is truly wonderful to get a glimpse of what she is like but makes this wait even harder-on us.  

I'm focusing on what we CAN control tonight by completing some required paperwork and ordering more documents.  They must be current in the past 6 months per China.  I forgot how quickly the small fees add up!  

GAFS checks $30 ($15 each)

VitalChek-Stacy's birth certificate & postage from IL $34

VitalChek-Luke's birth certificate & postage from GA $54

Introducing Sadie

It's with great joy and thanksgiving that I publicly share the news-we are adopting again!  I still cannot hardly believe it myself.  :)  As you might know we continued to have a heart for orphans even since we completed Noah's adoption.  I honestly don't know how you could ever go thru this journey and not.  Luke and I had many conversations about what that meant for our family but felt content (that's a bad thing sometimes) and did not feel God pulling us towards a specific child.  There are so many worthy children that are waiting.  We talked about fostering instead.  I contacted the local program.  I stayed up many nights (too late) browsing waiting child profiles and advocacy boards, always concentrating on the Chinese orphans.  I prayed for God to lead us.  And He did.  

In September I found this precious little girl's picture and bio.  I knew she was special.  I showed Luke.  We weren't ready to adopt again we both agreed.  We could barely handle our three somedays we told each other.  I prayed a lot.  I cried a lot.  I asked God to make me a better mother.  I can handle this I told myself.  I requested her file from the agency.  I asked Luke to look and consider.  Could we afford to do this again?  I asked myself if I was crazy (seriously).  

I really think God kept nudging us.  We watched her video and of course wanted her to have a family.  We didn't think we were that family.  So with all I had I shared her picture privately in adoption, albinism and waiting child groups.  I emailed other families.  I knew she had a family that would come forward.  Weeks went by and nothing happened (other families reviewed her file they just weren't ready to commit).  We stopped talking about it.  In early October I checked to see if the agency still had her file.  They did.  Luke and I discussed why no one else had stepped up.  Lots of prayer.  A few days later I felt an overwhelming conviction.  I know God was reassuring me that we could do this.  He would do this through us.  Luke and I were in agreeance-we were being called, asked...led to this child.  We contacted the agency again, submitted our application and worked diligently to prepare the LOI (letter of intent) to China.  Her file would be returned in less than 10 days to the shared list and perhaps she'd never have the chance to be adopted.  

After 2 weeks of waiting, we received PA (pre-approval) and have officially started the adoption process for Sadie.  She turned 3 in August.  She is in a poor, cold, remote area in China living in an orphanage.  It is not the same province or city that Noah lived in (our agency has asked us to keep the exact location private).  Her special need is albinism and nystagmus (bouncing eyes) just like Noah. You could probably guess our children are so excited and proud that we are doing this again.  We told them before we told any of you :)  Ella can't wait to have a sister, Noah is over the moon she is Chinese AND looks like him, and Beckett will finally have his opportunity to be the big brother.  Of course it will be harder than they realize.  Sadie is an orphan that has lived without a family since she was 2 weeks old.  She probably does not receive much nurturing or attention in the orphanage.  She does not know what love is.  Our children will each give up something when the adoption is complete and gain more than probably even I can imagine at this point.  Adoption is hard.  And we know it is worth it.

Luke and I realize not everyone will support us again.  That's ok we've told each other.  We aren't doing this for other people.  Other people don't pay the bills or raise our children.  We will make the big, scary payments.  We know God will provide in many ways.  Hopefully a t-shirt fundraiser, garage sale and a grant or two will additionally help us overcome the financial hurdles.  We would love for any of you to help but we understand that many of you contributed to Noah's adoption.

We are currently tackling the paperwork (called the paper chase).  A new agency (Lifeline) and new state of residence (Florida) = lots of new papers...in fact it has required us to COMPLETELY start over.  Our SW (social worker) has begun to contact our personal, professional and other references needed to complete the necessary checks.  This time I hope to keep a more detailed list of what an international adoption entails and the broken down costs in order to help other potential adoptive parents (you might be reading this considering adoption yourself). Here's what we have so far:

Application $250

First agency payment $3,138.75

Orphanage fee $140

FL fingerprints $102 ($51 each)

Prepare-Enrich marriage survey $35

Yesterday we ordered a photo album of our family to be sent to Sadie (service in-country).  $30 

I also asked for a pair of sunglasses to be included to protect her eyes.  $25 (wow)

We submitted 10 questions to our agency for an update (yay something is free) and are hoping for new photos and a video in the next week called family interaction (thru the in-country service). $60 

We'd love it if you would pray for our daughter Sadie as she waits-for her protection, good health and her heart to be prepared for all the changes ahead.  We are so grateful that God has a plan for her, just like he has a plan for each of us.

Starting Christmas

^This is the only picture we have of Noah with evidence of Christmas in China.  I think he is approximately 14 months old and had just started to attend the preschool run by Bethel inside the orphanage during the day.  We know he had at least one caregiver that was a believer and prayed over him (probably in secrecy).  It's hard to comprehend that this year will be his first real Christmas and hopefully one in which he understands why we celebrate-the birth of Jesus.

We bought our tree yesterday after church and Noah was excited by every step of the process especially decorating it.  He loved the white lights and hanging ornaments all by himself.  And this year it was his turn (by default) to put the gold star on top.  Luke splurged and bought an electric train to go around the base.  It was $30 well-spent as Noah and Beckett both watched it for over an hour.  :)

We hung the stockings, put out many manger scenes and talked about the real reason for the season.  Noah can tell you all about Santa too, he's a sponge soaking in everything around us.  It felt surreal to decorate for Christmas with our son who wasn't apart of our last one-not because he wasn't born yet-but because he was an orphan without a home or a family to celebrate with.  

I know Noah will continue to enjoy all the magic of the holiday season and perhaps help to remind us all how special Christmas is.  Thank you God for sending your Son to save us all!

Still Waiting, Jian Shan

Noah's best friend in China is now paperwork ready and listed for adoption with CCAI!  He is a waiting child with special needs like thousands of others and is is very much in need of a family of his own.  He and Noah entered the orphanage within 2 weeks of each other in January 2011 when they were each abandoned at approximately 3 months old.  I do not know the details of Jian Shan's life but what I do know is he is special.

He is sweet and obedient.  He is smart and active.  He is loved by the nannies and staff of Bethel, they have worked hard to prepare his file and that is because they believe adoption is what is best for him-not life at the orphanage.

We have many more photos and videos of Jian Shan with Noah and had the privilege to meet him briefly this past February.  Jian Shan has recently turned 4 and has visual impairments but can see.  His medical records can easily be obtained and reviewed for anyone that is interested.  We have prayed for his family to find him.  We continue to sponsor him while he waits and look forward to the day he is no longer an orphan.  Can you imagine the joy he would bring to a family?

More information on this precious child can be found here http://www.ccaifamily.org/WaitingChild/11706

Thankful

Noah has been learning all about the pilgrims, indians and being thankful the past few weeks.  His preschool class had a small feast today to celebrate; he wore his hat ALL afternoon and was very proud of the turkey he painted.  The teacher asked each child what they were thankful for and wrote it on the back of the handmade craft.  Noah said he was thankful for "my family.  They are special to me!".  I've told the story 3 times today and teared up every time.  It's his first Thanksgiving and what is he most thankful for-having a family!

1 Thessalonians 5:18Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

Preschool Pictures

These are some of the best preschool pictures I've ever seen!  (don't mind the green laminate countertop behind them as it's coming out tonight)  I was oh so skeptical about how the pictures would turn out-it's really hard to correctly photograph a child w/ albinism especially outside.  Noah was very proud of his pictures too.  Do you see how much taller he has grown?  This boy is lanky, he's almost as tall as Beckett now who is 40 inches and still 3 :)  They're still in the same 3k class and learning a lot.  This weekend Noah was reading the numbers off the aisles at Walmart!

Things Aren't Perfect (And Life Isn't Either)

I've been thinking about this post for awhile and haven't taken time to really write it down but lest anyone think things are perfect at our house, in our family of five now, let me start by saying they are not...and they won't really ever be.  You see we are now five separate individuals learning to love and live together as a family for only eight and a half months; and 8 years down the line we won't be perfect then either...because life isn't perfect.  It's not supposed to be.  These are human ideas that we cannot live up to.  Jesus was the only One who was and is perfect.

I hesitate to label Noah as a "broken child" but those of you that are not familiar with older child adoption (meaning 3 years or older) that is probably the best way to think of our situation.  You take a child who never had a real family, lived in an institution for more than 3 years and basically had to be a little adult for survival and put him in a mostly normal typical home setting and there is a period of adjustment.  I feel like we are out of that.  We have moved mostly through the testing stages and we are now attached and bonded-but he is still deep, down the same broken child.  He is happy, safe and loved but his issues are far from perfect.

Noah is attention-seeking.  Every single day, no matter how much attention he gets.  Our pediatrician says most 3 and 4 year old biological children she treats are too.  He does not want to cuddle.  He loves us but he does not want to love on us.  He never had that before.  Sidenoted-he probably doesn't want you to hold him or his hand unless he wants your attention.  Let me be clear though he is a wonderful child.  I've never expected him to be perfect but I get the feeling sometimes people (family, friends, neighbors) expect him to be just like our biological children.  He is not and will never be just like them.  He is Noah and we love him just the way he is.  Lately we are dealing with some food issues.  He has started to lie and hide food (saying he ate it but in actuality did not).  And he still needs to gain weight.  This is not the best combination.  He is on special vitamins and we are encouraging the eating but he just prefers rice, noodles and soup.  He will eat 2 bites of other things to make Mommy happy.  It's a work in progress.

Our biological children, Ella and Beckett have been amazing throughout our journey to meet Noah and the past months of getting to know him.  They aren't broken children and us adopting Noah did not break or take away from them-it added to their lives.  They love Noah and the bond the 3 of them share is one I have not witnessed before.  Of course there are arguments and an occasional fight (ok many each day between the boys), that's because no children are perfect.  They are learning and growing and I couldn't be more proud of how they accepted Noah and embraced his imperfections.

I'm not perfect either.  I have been pretty calm lately.  I think it's because I KNOW God is working through me and using me.  I have been stretched and grown so much through the adoption.  I know I am helping fix this broken child.  It's an awesome, imperfect thing to be a part of!

Pray for Ian

Tomorrow my dear friend Kristen's son, Ian is having surgery. He has a sensitive need that a team of doctors will be correcting-Ian was born with anal atresia and esophageal fistula.  You might remember from a past post that her youngest daughter, Jovie had open heart surgery this summer.

Please keep Ian and his precious family in your prayers.  He will be in surgery for at least 4 hours.  He is a perhaps the cutest little boy I've ever seen aside from my two.  Ian is a very strong little boy with an incredible medical team and I know God will be guiding them and ultimately correct his special needs as he sees fit.

If you want to read more about this inspiring family, Kristen's blog is: 

beloved-ones.com/

First Halloween

It didn't take long for Noah to realize he was going to love Halloween (the whole time I am thinking-oh buddy just wait until Christmas).  He picked his own costume out at Target a few weeks before when they were BOGO.  The Incredible Hulk!  It was kind of ironic since he is such a skinny, lanky thing to see him dressed up with "muscles".  He loved the whole ensemble and wore the mask most of Halloween day at preschool.  We stayed close to home and trick or treated in the neighborhood.  I gave in and let the kids eat 5 pieces of candy and stay up until 9:30 pm.  It was a fun night but took about 3 days for the family to detox and recover.

The boys really enjoy pretend play!

The Incredible Hulk

Our trio-Wolverine, A China Girl, and Hulk

Readoption

Noah's readoption was finalized on Monday at the Forsyth County Superior Courthouse.  We waited over 3 months for the hearing and therefore had to make a trip back to Georgia.  It was a great weekend visiting both sets of grandparents, squeezing in a few old friends and worship at our former church and then we ended it with a not-so-fun 4 year well check for Noah.  In the next 8-10 weeks we hope to receive his new birth certificate and oddly enough will be listed as his birth parents.  Readoption is not required but strongly suggested for children that have been adopted internationally because it will make applying for a passport, registering for school, applying for a job and (hopefully) one day a marriage license MUCH easier for Noah.  We had the most amazing attorney ever who prepared the necessary paperwork and commuted from Peachtree City out of the goodness of her own heart; she's also an adoptive parent and a wealth of knowledge.  God continues to share His blessings in ways we are often unable to anticipate.  

Noah's 4th Birthday + Eight Months As A Family

Remember this kid?  He just celebrated his 4th birthday (and first one with a family)!  How incredible is it the difference that ONE year makes.  Every day we thank God for leading us to Noah but last week more than any other time in the past eight months, I really slowed down to reflect on this season in our lives and how faithful God was to our family.

His 4th birthday seemed to last many days with a small family party, preschool celebration and on October 6th presents and balloons from us, Noah's forever family.  He thoroughly LOVED every minute of attention and affection!  Noah told us countless times last week how much he loved us and was glad we were his; it almost felt bittersweet to celebrate with him something that can carry so many sad and empty thoughts for children that have been adopted.  We keep an open dialogue with him (and our other 2 kids) so he very much understood that this was the first time that WE were there with him on October 6th.

Here are a few moments with special people that came a long way to see Noah during his special week

And more of our 4 year old enjoying all the presents and once a year treats

And finally our always happy birthday King Noah who wore his crown all day :)